Got up early, ate a little breakfast, then we left for Alyssa’s eye appt.  After her appt. we had a couple hours till her next doctor appt. so we headed to Target to try to find white shoes and hose for her Communion.  Didn’t find the kind of shoes I was looking for, but we did get the hose.  So as we’re looking around at shoes I started getting dizzy, hot and nauseous.  I sat down for a few min to get my balance and then we finished doing out shopping.  I took the girls to the restroom while Eric was getting one last thing.  I went to the restroom too and saw some spotting.  OK, it’s only day 19 for me and I’m not due for Aunt Flow for yet another week, so I actually got a little excited thinking..ooooo maybe implantation!  While we were standing in line to check out I felt ill again and my stomach felt just totally empty, so I picked up a granola bar to snack on until we could go get lunch.  So then we ran to the religious store to take back the veil Alyssa decided NOT to get and to get a couple little gifts for her for the First Communion from Eric and I.  Then we took off for the next appt.  I was feeling OK, but starting to cramp a little.  After we were done we got some lunch and I was feeling better.  We dropped Alyssa off at school and came back to the house.  Eric left for work and Ky was down for a nap.  I checked the messages on the phone and the nurse had called with my ca 125 test.  Her message was for me to call her back, so I did.  My test result was just slightly elevated, so the doctor wants to run it again in a month to see how it changes.  The normal level is 0-35, but mine was 40.  Not too high, just a tad.  When I had the endometriosis cyst, stage iv and the surgery my result then was 111.  So, 40 is certainly much better than that.  Truthfully the slight elevation may just be the result of the small fibroids I have currently.  So, I took a nap because I was sooo exhausted again and feeling so icky and throughout the day the cramping has gotten worse and the bleeding has increased, so…I guess Aunt Flow has come very very early.  By the evening, I was depressed.  What a cruel joke to make me think implantation and then give me my period a week early! ugh…I just feel like calling the doctor and telling her forget it.  I don’t want to go through all this again, lets just be happy with the 2 kiddos we have and do a hysterectomy and get rid of all of this.  I’ve been feeling nauseous again all afternoon and evening, and again when I try to eat things they just make me sick, but I am hungry and my stomach gets this very empty hunger pain.  I just don’t know…I’m so frustrated.

But for now…I’m going to sleep…again.  Eric will be taking Ky to tumbling in the morning, so I’m hoping I can sleep till about noon without interruption and maybe get enough rest to feel better tomorrow.

thanks to all of you that have been checking on me and thinking of me.  I really appreciate it.